Flog the athlete's foot, jackass, and don't spare the flatulence

Posted on by Mike Evans

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What a sheltered life I’ve led. Those Pakistani censors are way ahead of me on double entendres and smutty sayings. Here’s a complete list of the words and phrases you are soon to be banned from texting if you happen to live in Karachi. It’s actually a handy reference library for smutty texts and I’ve learned a great deal. I might use a few of them when in the mood.

Mind you, I’m not so sure about deposit, fatso, flatulence, inter racial or even Jesus Christ. They all sound pretty inoffensive to me. But some proscriptions are just plain obtuse. What’s a “hershey highway”, for heaven’s sake? And as for “flogging the dolphin”, that leaves me bemused. I’m going to have to look them up on Google. As I said, a sheltered life I’ve led. Still and all, I’m glad to see the censors included the word STUPID because that just about sums up the entire futile, feeble exercise. I imagine religion is at the bottom (oh no, mustn’t use that word, it’s on the list) of things.

A mini selection: athletes foot, deposit, fatso, flatulence, flogging the dolphin, gay, god damit, hershey hiway, idiot, inter-racial, jesus christ, jackass, lactate, lez be friends, pocket pool, stupid, third leg, xxx.

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