I've been diagnosed and it's bad news, I'm afraid

Posted on by Mike Evans

It’s official. I got the diagnosis today and it’s bad news. I’ll always remember the doctor’s words: “You’re a nomophobe,” he said. Got to be grateful for small mercies, though, since he isn’t known for his dropped aitches. And there’s always a bright side to anything: I could well be in line for some tasty sickness benefit from our grateful nation.

Like Doreen the serial benefits claimant, who suffers from Lazy Cow Syndrome (see clip below), I might even apply for an upgrade to something a bit more impressive. And more lucrative. Possibly, even, something more deserving of sympathy.

You’ll be wondering what this dreadful affliction means for my way of life. Will I still be able to maintain this site? Will I be able to travel? Well, I should be fine if I never let my iPhone out of my sight. Nomophobia, you see, is the fear of being without your phone. It’s a serious matter and no less than 66 percent of phone owners suffer from the condition, according to The Telegraph.

Being a classicist at heart rather than by training, I had to search frantically for the Greek prefix nomo. All I came up with was nomos, an administrative sub-division or county. This didn’t seem to fit, not even with my peripatetic iPhone habits, and I had to rely on Wikipedia to tell me that it means no-mobile-phone phobia. Bit disappointing, really. I do like a good Greek prefix. 

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