In the Prime of Life: Why does Amazon keep hassling me?

Posted on by Mike Evans

I used to think Amazon Prime was a brilliant idea: Under £50 a year for free shipping and a bit of preferential treatment. Then it went up to £79 and, in recompense, I was given "Prime Instant Video", which I didn't want, and the ability of borrow Kindle books, which I don't use. Trouble is, Amazon doesn't believe I don't need these goodies and persists in assuming that because I don't use them I don't know about them. Mad old me.

Hardly a week goes by without an email about Prime. The latest: "Did you receive a games console or tablet for Christmas this year? We are reminding you that you can watch exciting new and popular Movies and TV shows on hundreds of compatible devices." No, I did not receive a games console and I already have a tablet, thank you very much.

Today, however, something new: A plastic Amazon Prime membership card. What I've always wanted, and it came only a day late for Christmas. I'm told that I can use this to view Mozart in the Jungle or The Penguins of Madagascar, whoever they are. Yippee!

All this video streaming mullarkey must be a good earner for Amazon, otherwise there wouldn't be cash in the kitty to keep sending me emails, plastic cards and other spam. I definitely get the impression, though, that Prime would be doing a whole lot better if I did tune in to Mozart, (which I presume is a sort of classical music version of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here) or tarried with Tarantino's Django Unchained. No doubt Amazon thinks me totally bonkers not to be seduced by these goodies.

Come to think of it, why do I still pay for Prime? If I totted up all my orders over twelve months I feel sure the shipping costs would far undercut £79. Not only would I save money, I would be spared these incessant emails of anguish from Amazon.

"Dear Amazon, I am very well aware that you have foisted unlimited videos and book borrowing on me. How could I not be aware after all your pestering? I have a good idea to resolve the situation: Reduce Prime to £49 and make video streaming an optional £30 extra. Then you could stop pestering me and we would both be happy."

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